& just like that.

4.18.2022

PostOp with Dr. Evans

As normal, I'm oblivious.  Going into postop......thinking everything was fine.  

Afterall, 10 days prior a 6 inch mass was removed from my neck-what we thought was attached to my Thyroid wasn't. 

My facebook post coming out of surgery:

And just like that......life throws another curve ball. I promise I’m trying to slow down, but my body had another idea. What was supposed to be a super simple procedure on a partial thyroid, ended up being a 6 inch mass that wasn’t anywhere near my thyroid!

God sure did have me in his hands & made sure the skilled surgeon was able. The mass was wrapped around my carotid artery & nerves at my cervical spine. So literally-The surgeon faced a paralyzed life AND no life at all....during his 5 hour surgery. I’m ok! Grateful to be alive. Grateful to be walking. It all happened so fast..... my caregivers at @saintagnesmedicalcenter were #topnotch!!!! @dougdartbroker is suffocating me with food, drink, meds, movies, books! My besties showered me with flowers, homemade chocolate cake, food, cards & well wishes! Clearly food makes me feel better!!!!! The dogs won’t leave my side! God is so good to me-my pain isn’t too bad & the boredom is setting in! Im even grateful to be bored!

 

Then....

I sit in the waiting area, & a sense came over me. I quickly text Doug: 

Say a lil prayer for me At dr office Forgot-Ill get pathology today. Eak! 🙏

I sit in the room.....he see's 2 people before me.....although my appointment time was before them......so I wondered & kept pushing out bad thoughts.  But I knew.  He walks in.  He is a very insightful, wise & tall man......& he has tears. (Or he's tired) He sits close & then I knew.  

2003 was a goiter & 1/2 thyroidectomy with pathology being cancer.  2003 made 2022 seem familiar & I didn't like it.  

The words were "Hodgkins Lymphoma" & rage came thru me. Then tears. Then the word FUCK.  He spoke more.....but my fight or flight kicked in.....walls came closer, breath was difficult to consume......he said, lets follow with your hematologist/oncologist to order a pet scan & bone marrow biopsy.  Oh that breath was difficult to find. Blah blah blah.....is all I heard!  

As I walked out, Im dazed.....& jibberish. Dumbfounded & still jibberish.  

Then......I have to call my husband.