Welcome to Straighten My Crown, my name is Alice Brown. I started this blog as a project for seminary, although it has turned into something more for me. My hopes are to inspire, challenge and encourage you to pursue God and bask in the fullness He has for you, no matter what the season. This is something I don’t claim to be perfect at doing but it’s something that I can say is the desire of my heart, for not only myself but for others too. My heart is for you to see yourself the way He sees you. “You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God.” ~Isaiah 62:3.
“What worked in the wilderness, won’t work in the promise land.”
As the second to youngest of five girls, I was pretty goofy, very creative and quite adventurous. I spent most my time pretending, dreaming, running around the house singing at the top of my lungs, climbing trees to escape and think through life’s mysteries, imagining with my little sister or finding way to pester all my sisters, at least until they would yell for mom or dad. Things have changed a bit but not too much. I don’t climb trees to escape anymore…these days, being that I have three children, a husband and two Great Danes that follow me throughout the house, going to the grocery store is the best escape I seem to muster up.
My parents were determined to give us a biblical foundation whether we were part of a church or not. At the time, I would not have admitted it but I am so very thankful for that. My parents were married for 47 years before my dad died. Dad worked for the Boeing for 43 years, retiring at the age of 65. I would say my parents truly represented commitment for me. They taught me that when I committed to something, to give it my all and my best. They also taught me, things may not work out as I had planned. Mom and Dad persevered through some really good times and some very bad times. The thing I appreciated the most, is that it really wasn’t hidden from us. I am aware there are things we just did not know, but most of everything was a family affair. I learned a great deal that way; one thing in particular, that human beings are not perfect and do not always have the answer.
God took the time to redeem every moment, to clean up my mess and straighten my crown. I met an incredible man who has only encouraged me to grow and heal. When I had my second child, I started longing to be part of a church family again. Over time we started going to The Rock and were never the same. I met Holy Spirit on my knees one evening and have never looked back. Being from a Baptist background, I had never experience God on that level. In a very short time, it was all true, there was no doubt. The Word was true, He was undeniably real and my life was forever changed.
By the time I had my third child, it had really sunk in that it was an absolute necessity for me to find time for just God and I. The past two years has been that journey. It was not until recently that I came to the conclusion and complete understanding that my time with the Father may not look like what I thought. It may not be sitting in my house of silence, with a nice cup of coffee, my journal, my Bible and a nice long hour to soak in Him as much as I want. It is just not that season. Right now it is a season of littles running through my living room, jumping from couch to chair to rug, dodging the hot lava or tea parties in the living room with lifeless stuffed animals, or fighting for my children to maintain self control long enough to get through a couple of hours of homeschool. All the while trying to maintain my sanity and finish seminary, let alone some quiet time to meditate on Him and pray.
Now that I am 40 years old and have only just in the past few years, found where my needs are truly met. The only place I can be fulfilled, is in His presence. There are many tables (that may temporarily fill my needs) that I am invited to sit at but He has prepared a table before me, with a smorgasbord of the things in life I need to not just survive, but live. To live out the calling He has for me. To live my life completely and utterly for Him. I may be amongst my enemies but I will plant my heels where they are, take a seat and trust my most gracious Host to provide me with all that I need to feel completely satisfied…to feel significant and like I belong.
I am His daughter…the daughter of the One True King. I am royalty and I DO wear a crown. My crown might be crooked on days, but there is rest for me, in knowing I am His. I find my peace and joy in that alone. He never asked us to clean up or straighten our crown when we dine with Him. He will handle the clean up and He will straighten my crown.